Dante and Randal On Comfort Zone #jleb

  • Randal Graves: Oh what, what's with you, man? You haven't said anything for like 20 minutes. What the hell's your problem?
  • Dante Hicks: This life.
  • Randal Graves: This life?
  • Dante Hicks: Why do I have this life?
  • Randal Graves: Have some chips, you'll feel better.
  • Dante Hicks: I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward ass fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks.
  • Randal Graves: 37.
  • Dante Hicks: My life's in the shitter right now, and if you don't mind, I'd like to stew a bit.
  • Randal Graves: Aw, that's all bullshit, man. You know what the real problem here is ?
  • Dante Hicks: l was born ?
  • Randal Graves: You should shit or get off the pot.
  • Dante Hicks: l should shit or get off the pot.
  • Randal Graves: Yeah, shit or get off the pot.
  • Dante Hicks: What are you talking about ?
  • Randal Graves: I'm talking about this thing you have, this inability to improve your station in life.
  • Dante Hicks: Fuck you !
  • Randal Graves: it's true, man. You sit there and blame life for dealin' you a cruddy hand, never once accepting responsibility for the way your situation is.
  • Dante Hicks: What responsibility ?
  • Randal Graves: All right, if you hate this job and the people...and the fact that you have to come in on your day off, why don't you quit ?
  • Dante Hicks: Like it's that easy.
  • Randal Graves: it is. You just up and quit. There's other jobs. They pay better money. You're bound to be qualified for at least one of 'em. So what's stoppin' you ?
  • Dante Hicks: Leave me alone.
  • Randal Graves: Oh, you're comfortable, right? This is a life of convenience for you, and any attempt to change it...would shatter the pathetic microcosm you've fashioned for yourself.
  • Dante Hicks: Oh ! Like your life's any better.
  • Randal Graves: I'm satisfied with my situation for now. You don't hear me complaining. You, on the other hand, have been bitching all day.
  • Dante Hicks: Thank you. Why don't you go back to the video store ?
  • Randal Graves: it's the same thing with Veronica.
  • Dante Hicks: Leave her out of this !
  • Randal Graves: You date Veronica because it's convenient and she's low maintenance. But meanwhile, all you ever do is talk about Caitlin. You carry a torch for a girl you dated in high school. In high school, for God's sakes. You're 22.
  • Dante Hicks: Leave me alone !
  • Randal Graves: If you want Caitlin, then talk to Veronica and be with Caitlin. If you want Veronica, then be with Veronica. But don't pine for one and fuck the other. Man, if you weren't such a fucking coward.
  • Dante Hicks: If l wasn't such a fucking coward. It must be great to have this ability to simplify things the way you do.
  • Randal Graves: Am l right or what ?
  • Dante Hicks: You're wrong ! Things happened today. Things that probably ruined my chances with Caitlin.
  • Randal Graves: Oh, what, the dead guy ? She'll get over fuckin' a dead guy. Shit, my mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. l call him "Dad."
  • Dante Hicks: Caitlin and l can't be together. It's impossible.
  • Randal Graves: Melodrama comin' from you seems about as natural as an oral bowel movement.
  • Dante Hicks: What do you want me to say ? "Yes, some of the things you're saying are true"? That's the way things are. They're not gonna change.
  • Randal Graves: Make 'em change.
  • Dante Hicks: l can't, all right. Jesus, will you leave me alone? I can't make changes in my life like that. lf l could, l would. But l don't have the ability to risk the comfortable situations...on the big money and the fabulous prizes !
  • Randal Graves: Who are you kidding ? You can so.
  • Dante Hicks: Jesus H. Christ ! l can't !
  • Randal Graves: So you're gonna be miserable 'cause you don't have the guts to face change ?
  • Dante Hicks: My mother told me once that when l was three years old, my potty lid was closed, and instead of me lifting it, I shit my pants.
  • Randal Graves: Lovely story.
  • Dante Hicks: The point is, I'm not the type of person...who'll disrupt things just so l can shit comfortably.